It’s no secret that most of Steven Seagal’s straight to video efforts stink. There have been a few that manage to rise above abysmal and can be watched without cursing everyone involved in making the film. Ruslan and The Keeper fall into this category; while they’re not likely to make any new Seagal fans, they at least offer some entertaining violence, and Seagal actually seemed to show up to the set for work most of the time.
A purposefully trashy throwback to the grindhouse exploitation flicks of the 70‘s, Bitch Slap manages to be surprisingly entertaining. I expected the film to be terrible, especially if compared the brilliant blaxploitation parody of Black Dynamite. It’s not quite in the same league as Black Dynamite, but it isn’t a straight parody; it’s more of a loving homage to the genre. More than anything, Bitch Slap is about breasts, asses, and violence.
Frank (Richard Norton, perhaps best known for Gymkata and The Octagon) is a former hockey player turned business man who just wants to sell his club and get the hell out of town. Unfortunately for him (but fortunately for us) everything that can go wrong does go wrong.
What happens when you mix basketball with Thai kickboxing, pipes, brass knuckles and knives? A whole lot of people get hurt; it’s so brutal that fatalities are not uncommon.
There are two ways to win the sport of Fireball—score a single basket, or be the only team with men left standing. Scoring a basket sounds easy but it becomes a lot harder when people are beating the hell out of you.
Power Kids is an awkward fusion of kids and Thai martial arts cinema. Combine one part Muay Thai with two parts sappy melodrama and you get a final product that just doesn’t measure up to other Thai action flicks.
Like him or laugh at him, Steven Seagal sure knew how to kick ass on-screen, and although wooden enough to make a dining table out of, he's got a blockhead appeal and a certain cinematic snap he brings to each feature.
Of course, I'm usually drunk when I press play on his movies, and it only takes me 10 seconds before I think I've seen it before—which I pretty much have seeing as all his stuff is cut from the same plot cloth—wronged hero out on his own, wanting to bust the bad guys.
If you’re searching for the worst Steven Seagal movie ever made, make sure you give this one a look. Kill Switch is chock full of bad dubbing, painfully obvious stunt doubles, and appears to have been edited by a drunken epileptic monkey in the midst of a grand mal seizure.
If you’re looking for anything else, stay far away from this movie.