Teheran Dossier

AKA: Black Gold Dossier, here's a snoozy as hell, low budget crapfest from the muddled brain of Kathansky, director of the infamous Beast In Heat (77).

A bare bones Italian production, 'master ninja' Richard Harrison stars as a studdly international industrial spy/janitor who travels the globe (not really) battling spy rings, petroleum terrorist cells and the same 12 arab henchmen - who get shot, say 'Aaargh' and die over and over again.

Made practically unwatchable by including scenes of a shirtless, braless Harrison gurning and wooing goo all over his poor semi-clad spy gal partner Florence Cayrol, the piss-poor picture then partly redeems itself by having Harrison and Cayrol attempt some of the funniest, lamest, most awkward looking fake ass shite fu ever made up on the spot.... ever.

Far too cheap and inactive for casual viewers to endure, lovers of low grade, sub-par, Jimmy Bond cold war bollox will trip out on the crass cheeze factor alone, especially as it trundles along, belching bad dialogue and dubbing and even re-uses rubbish explosion footage from Kathansky's WWII dull-a-thon Achtung! Desert Tigers (77). A rare wheel of rancid edam indeed, keep watch for grumpy Gordon Mitchell from the eye melting Cross Of The Seven Jewels (87).