Tarzan in the Valley of Lust

Colour, 16mm jungle sex swings from a vine and dangles its leafy salami in your face. Chris Robin is Jayne, a blonde airhead in a fur bikini who goes for a scrub in a stream. A man in a monkey suit (Al Martin) attacks the damp and terrified lady until Tarzan (the aptly branded Duane Prodd) shows up and stabs the manky monkey in the balls with a jungle knife.

After which, he has sex with the grateful Jayne "Waa Tarzan cum!" Later on, while Tarzan is pottering about getting dinner and blown, the evil monkey kidnaps Jayne and a gal called Meena (Dee Dee with a huge afro!) gets lamped—like everyone else—sideways on a bed of leafy grass "Kowabunga Tarzan!" the end.

Shot without sound and over dubbed by two, very sleepy, drunk people, it was probably filmed in the directors back yard in a day. Which is a guess, but would go some ways to help explain why it's a terrible, jumbled, very dozy 'adult' donkey with rubbish sex and an even worse cameraman who missed all the action and instead, decided to film the back of Tarzans bobbing head or poor Jaynes blank WTF expression during the sex scenes.

At barely 50 minutes long, this soft-core feature could be missing X-rated close-ups and money shots but, it's hard to tell as the SWV print jumps and scutters around like a scalded rat. A little like the movie itself.