Magic of the Universe

Best place yer brain in a jar while you indulge in this stupefying chunk of childish fantasy-ham starring Michael De Mesa as a smarmy circus magician called Jamir who is not only handicapped with a bad beard and a fat side-kick Bojok (Tom Tom), he’s utterly shite at magic and accidentally makes his daughter ‘really’ disappear during a show one night. Shocked and dumfounded (not really), Jamir then spends the rest of the film farting about like a tool in another dimension searching for the missing girl, but don’t cheer just yet... this low budget stinker from the Philippines is sadly, as dumb as they come.

Badly dubbed, scored and conceived.... it’s a stale conveyor belt of distorted incidents, magic ‘poofs’, glow medallions, pig-men, bongs, lazer spells, wizards, giants, dwarves, swamp monsters, snake trees, ninja ferrets (I wish) and all manner of fairy tale folk—including a sorceress with a fantastic, huge, throbbing skull—which is all fine for a children's fantasy if it were presented in a light, ‘off world’ way, but for some reason, this crap tale is dipped in the dark and the dull and could possibly induce nightmares in younger viewers searching for a replacement for The Never Ending Story (84).

Complete with a talking toilet seat puppet called Globo, think of it as a weird Power Rangers road movie spat out by a creator molested by Muppets as a child. Keep watch for Dick Isreal (The Blood Hero—77) he needs the support.