Submitted by Lurple on 08/11/08
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Ah, the fabled Star Wars Holiday Special. Fans of Star Wars and horrible cinema have sought it out for nearly three decades now. Naturally I needed to track it down and find out if the legends were true.
They were.
There was a time—before I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special—when I thougt that George Lucas's attempts to deny its existence just added another layer to his douchebaggery. After watching it I have come to understand his feelings. I too wish I could pretend it didn't exist.
But I can't. It's been a year since I first witnessed it and the scars just won't heal. So I'll do the next best thing—write about it and get other people to watch it. Because right now you are thinking, "It can't be THAT bad," just like I did.
I won't write a review of the Stars Wars Holiday Special because nobody wants to read several obscenity-filled pages. I will cover a few things that struck me during watching it:
- Wookie porn: There is no place or time where this would be a good idea. Sweet zombie Jesus, did anyone read this script?
- I fully support Carrie Fisher's decision to get sky-high to survive making this thing. The writers, producers, and director should probaby have considered sobering up at some point.
- While drugs undoubtedly helped get this thing on the air, vast amounts of alcohol failed to make watching it enjoyable.
- When Bea Arthur's musical number is one of the least terrible parts of your show, you've done something horribly wrong. I really wanted to make fun of Bea Arthur being in the Star Wars Holiday Special, but aside from the animated bit she was the only part I didn't absolutely hate.
Yes, I absolutely hated the Star Wars Holiday Special. It's not bad in a good way, it's just terrible. When it's not being mind-numbingly boring it's jaw-droppingly stupid. It's one of the worst things I've suffered all the way through. Maybe Lucas should release it just so people will stop complaining about the Phantom Menace and Jar-Jar. It lowers the bar for Star Wars quality to a level that just about anything can hop over.
Oh, yes. This is so painful.
Oh, yes. This is so painful. I saw it before the new trilogy came out. That was the main reason I wasn't surprised by anything in it, not even Jar-Jar.
You hear that it's bad but I
You hear that it's bad but I don't think there's anything that can really prepare you for it. You just have to see it for yourself.
Or, even better, run like the
Or, even better, run like the wind.
I've had this sitting around
I've had this sitting around for a few years, and it's one of those films where I've been afraid to even start it up, I've heard so many awful things about it.
Take the plunge and become
Take the plunge and become one of us. What do you have to lose? Your mind? It's not as bad as Killer Klowns from Kansas on Krack, which I promise I will never try to get you to watch. There are limits to my cruelty.
I feckin' loved it .....
I feckin' loved it ..... maybe coz I'm not a huge fan of the star wars thang... I was when I was younger, but after the last '3' movies... I'm a mere shadow of my former Sith.
Anyhow, point is. I have never had so much fun popping brain balloons as I had when I played this to a room full of 'Lucas fans' (who had actually forgiven the creation of Ja Ja...). Yes there were tears, gasps and even utter hatred. hurrah!
Despite that side affect..... It's a totally awful viewing experience. Redeemable only by the fact that you can actually sense badly hidden waves of violence and animosity emitting from the glazzies of the incredibly awkward 'stars'...
Hell at 25FPS.....
DF
Playing it for a crowd of
Playing it for a crowd of die-hard Lucas fans is a terrible thing to do. I salute you, sir.
I let my brother-in-law (who is a huge Star Wars fan) watch it last Christmas but he left the room rather quickly and did not return to watch the rest.
the company of stalwart friends helped a little
We watched this at work over lunch one slow day. We love finding weird videos to watch at lunch. This topped the charts. I left after half an hour. I just couldn't handle it. I didn't believe the person who warned me that the first ten minutes were in Wookie (and only in Wookie) - and I got more and more annoyed after that.
I have never had so much fun
I have never had so much fun popping brain balloons as I had when I played this to a room full of 'Lucas fans' (who had actually forgiven the creation of Ja Ja...). Yes there were tears, gasps and even utter hatred. hurrah!
Despite that side affect..... It's a totally awful viewing experience.
Yes, the constant
Yes, the constant wookie-speak (without subtitles) followed by the creepy musical wookie porn sequence grandpa Lumpy (or was it Itchy? Great names, guys) is really quite irritating. It doesn't get any better after that, so you made a good choice in leaving.
Its not the noesis that
Its not the noesis that consumer unoriginality be completely appurtenant with communicator's views roughly cut. So this is what happened with me, anyways its a confirming toil, I revalue it. Thanks
wise quotes
I bailed before the wookie
I bailed before the wookie porn. Ew.
holiday special
Oh sweet zombie jesus (love that one) please tell me this is a joke! I can't imagine that on any level this is a good thing. And please don't tell my hubby cuz after having to watch 1-6 these last 2 weekends, gawd knows he'll have me hunt this one down too. Please pour some more booze cuz this one deserves a triple shot......
Most of the people who have
Most of the people who have seen it wish it was a joke, but you can check it out on IMDB and Wikipedia. The only possible upside is that your husband may never make you watch anything Star Wars related ever again.
lurple.com
I bailed before the wookie porn. Ew
lurple
I loved the wookie porn it
I loved the wookie porn it was amamzing... *cantina music plays*
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Il s'agit d'une expérience de visionnement totalement affreux. Rachetables seulement par le fait que vous pouvez réellement le sens des vagues mal cachés de la violence et l'animosité de l'émission glazzies des étoiles incroyablement maladroite
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Rachetables seulement par le fait que vous pouvez réellement le sens des vagues mal cachés de la violence et l'animosité de l'émission glazzies des étoiles incroyablement maladroite
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