Submitted by Lurple on 09/11/08
Posted in
Now and then a movie comes along that words simply cannot adequately describe. City Dragon is one of those movies. If I tried to list every single thing that was wrong with it, this would be a hell of a long review and I'd have to watch it several times in a row just to try to catch them all. I'm not that strong.
City Dragon features the adventures of MC Kung Fu, rapping kung fu expert/playa/accountant. I'd like to mention that MC Kung Fu is apparently his real name, in the movie he settles for the far more pedestrian name Ray. He likes to party with his friends Philthy Phil and Rick, and for some reason Philthy (who also directed the movie) is far less annoying than Rick.
The plot of City Dragon is completely bizarre. It starts off like a Cinemax softcore porno (with no actual porn), veers into a rejected Lifetime original about domestic abuse and a stalking ex-boyfriend, inserts random fights that generally have nothing to do with the plot, adds a dash of marriage, pregnancy and a couple who needs therapy, some scenes that are nearly straight out of super-low-budget sexual harassment video you may have seen at work… and lots and lots of terrible, terrible rhyming and rapping. And there's more! It's a monumental effort of combining things that don't work together, and I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like it.
Oddly enough some of the fights are pretty good, given the films extremely low budget. MC Kung Fu is considerably better at punching and kicking than he is at rhyming. Unfortunately he spends a lot of the movie speaking in rhyme. This will either have you groaning in pain or doubled over laughing as he rhymes things like "Tina" with "queena". He also has some of the worst pick-up lines I have ever heard. Ever. Despite all this by the end of the movie I was feeling sorry for him, either because of all the crap the movie piles on his character, or because he was in this movie. I really can't say which, maybe it was both.
My favorite character in the entire movie is a doctor at a mental institution who is only in the film for a minute. When a crazy person asks him for help, he responds: "Help? Yeah I'd like to help, help string your ass up to the highest tree. Crazy whacko cracker! You need Jesus!" The movie is filled with completely random inane crap like this.
Should you see City Dragon? If you're into BAD movies, this is definitely one for the books, an unintentional comedy for the ages. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, and it may even move you enough to reach for the remote to turn it off. You'll probably just sit there stunned, though, watching it unfold like some kind of epic natural disaster. MC Kung Fu and his buddies never made another film, so this is your only chance to see their unique brand of awful.
Hooray!
"City Dragon" is definitely one-of-a-kind. The filmmakers' next feature, entitled "Kung Fu Assassins," looks just as terrible. In other words, I'm pumped.
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They're doing another film,
They're doing another film, after all these years? Awesome!
Kung Fu Assassins looks every
Kung Fu Assassins looks every bit as horrible as City Dragon, which would be a stunning achievement!
Here's the music video/trailer from City Dragon, for comparison.
"City Dragon" & "Kung Fu Assassins" Comments
My name is Stan Derain (aka MC Kung Fu) and writer, producer of "City Dragon" and Producer/Writer/Director/Co-Star of "Kung Fu Assassins". Yes. I'm back after an 11 year break after "City Dragon". You are entitled to your opinion, but judging by your opinion of "City Dragon", you have no sense of humor and are too dumb to figure out that the movie was a COMEDY. Nobody talks in rhymes. I made it to entertain with comedy and martial arts and it definitely did. You sound like a boring nerd who doesn't know how to have fun. And many people disagree with your opinions since "City Dragon" and "Kung Fu Assassins" youtube trailer and music videos are very popular. Don't judge "Kung Fu Assassins" until you've seen it. If you think it's horrible, maybe you're not into beautiful bikini girls and martial arts.
Hi Stan, thanks for dropping
Hi Stan, thanks for dropping by.
While I do think City Dragon is a bad movie I think you've missed the fact that I enjoyed it. I understand that you intended portions of it to be a comedy and while those parts of the movie are rarely funny, the movie itself is often hilarious.
As much as is possible, I consider myself a fan of your work. Apparently not for the reasons you'd like to have fans, but I've still convinced other people to watch City Dragon, and I intend to see Kung Fu Assassins when it's available. You may not like having fans that enjoy your work for how weird and terrible it is, but they're out there nonetheless.
It's good to see you back in action after all these years! Even if you don't like what I have to say, just keep doing what you do. We'll be watching.
I haven't actually watched
I haven't actually watched this yet, but I watched a few brief clips at Lurple's house. I would like to add that in the doctor scene, the doctor is obviously reading his lines off of the back of the folder. I wasn't sure if Lurple caught that before, but we were both laughing pretty hard once I pointed it out.
I won't say that the two fight scenes I saw were good, and I won't say that MC Kung Fu is a great martial artist, but in some scenes his form was nearly flawless, and in others it was just okay. However, Stan has incredible taste in picking ladies for his movies/music videos. For that reason alone I may be checking out both of these films really soon
MC duuuuuuuuuu
I watched this limp, flappy and highly self indulgent and hi-larious suburban misfire again recently.., this time with a buddy who likes movies, his two word review; "Shitty Dragon"
now thats comedy
Wut?
I really have to admire a man so committed to his seminal fame, that over a decade after the movie was made, STILL googles himself daily. I hand it to you Stan Derain, a man DEDICATED to being almost a celebrity. Well done...?
Kung Fu Assassins is going to
Kung Fu Assassins is going to be one of the best things in 2009 :D
Kung Fu Assassins is going to
Kung Fu Assassins is going to be one of the best things in 2009
best things in 2009
Kung Fu Assassins is going to be one of the best things in 2009
Keep it up, your writing is
Keep it up, your writing is always a joy to read that I even told my friends. Simply loving this!
you know
this hearkens back to my youth when i'd watch scrambled softcore with some odd story tied to it or watching vhs tapes from friends late at night hoping there would be some nudity.
maybe that's what mc kung fu is trying to get across to us.
[maybe not]
either way i do hope there's nudity and some b- movie action...
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City Dragon movie is based on
City Dragon movie is based on Kung Fu and my children as well as me are very big fan of Kung Fu and we watched the movie, it was really awesome. VIGOUR
City Dragon: Martial-artist
City Dragon: Martial-artist Ray should focus more on pregnant girlfriend, Tina. However, many others are in the picture, including (but not limited to): Tina's ex-boyfriend; Ray's sexually-discriminating boss-lady; and two homies. Personal Bankruptcy
The movie is an excellent
The movie is an excellent work depicting action as well as a social message to us with their incredible performance.I think this will be a grand success as it is appreciated by audiences a lot.
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I think its a great combination of entertainment and fun.I must appreciate the way you have made an effort for making the movie so special and elegant to view.
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I am not memorize in which
I am not memorize in which year I saw this movie but this is good entertaining movie but unfortunately this movie not gain a high rating in the box office but people love to see the action of the martial artist Stan Derain who play the lead character in this movie names Ray, the plot of this movie is quite good but very much impressive.
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The movie has gain steam
The movie has gain steam because of its unique concept and efficient direction which is praised by all audiences.The main feature of this movie is its grab over animation while representing dragon world.
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I have experienced much fun
I have experienced much fun while watching this movie and the animation shown here is really appreciable.The main purpose of this movie is to entertain us with its unique concept and new features.
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I was really jazzed to see
I was really jazzed to see this movie, because it represents a lot of firsts for the column emerged from the Thrift Store. On the one hand, it is the first movie I bought at the thrift store is actually on DVD. Second, the back of the box boasts that "climate fight is one of the best ever seen." Do not know about you but I love to read an advertisement for contributions in a video frame that does not bother to actually list the citation said. Third, the table also shows that the film was directed mensagens by a guy named "Phil philty," which sounds all kinds of promise. But the big reason I could not wait to see the Twin City was because it stars a guy named MC Kung Fu. I've never heard of this before, but it's a heck of a handle you have there.
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This movie is an awesome work
This movie is an awesome work and provides some useful benefits to the creators.Their creativity lies mostly on these bases which sometimes give them the test of success.
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John Williams is so great,the
John Williams is so great,the movie is one of the best in kung fu the last 7 years that i remember,i saw it 4 times. 5emas forex system from forex signals
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I think this is a better way to get awesome entertainment in a sort time duration.This is an effective movie which completely satisfy viewers.Also the descriptions and narration of this movie is beautiful.
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City dragon is one of the
City dragon is one of the most classic and evergreen movie whic is attracting audiences today also by its appealing concept and modern features.I admire the way in which this movie was created and think its quite innovative to have such efforts on the viewers.
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City Dragon has contained
City Dragon has contained variety of kung fu techniques with extraordinary job has done here.So peoples are attracted towards this innovative and astonishing techniques which are never seen before. product design
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mw2 aimbot xbox 360 "It starts off like a Cinemax softcore porno" :) But the movie kicks ass!
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Especially I enjoyed a lot
Especially I enjoyed a lot from this description City Dragon due to its awesome techniques of martial art forms which I have never seen before.Truly best entertaining piece for me. autocad conversion
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Such a great movie. You should watch this one. Looking forward for more!!!
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