If you’re seeking out the indescribably weird, The Boxer’s Omen is a must-see. An insane Hong Kong cocktail of disgusting Thailand black magic, Buddhist spirit-fu, and a bit of martial arts, movies just don’t come much weirder than this one.
Best place yer brain in a jar while you indulge in this stupefying chunk of childish fantasy-ham starring Michael De Mesa as a smarmy circus magician called Jamir who is not only handicapped with a bad beard and a fat side-kick Bojok (Tom Tom), he’s utterly shite at magic and accidentally makes his daughter ‘really’ disappear during a show one night. Shocked and dumfounded (not really), Jamir then spends the rest of the film farting about like a tool in another dimension searching for the missing girl, but don’t cheer just yet... this low budget stinker from the Philippines is sadly, as dumb as they come.
Westerners Nick Reece, Trudy Calder and Lucas Byrne star in this totally insane far east cocktail of exploitation super trash that defies sense, reality and logic to such an extent that you may suffer an out of body experience while viewing it.
I've got questionable taste in films but fortunately for everyone the world is safe from me ever making one. You can all sleep a bit easier at night knowing that I have no desire to inflict a film on you.
The same can't be said of Kim Jong-il. Yes, that Kim Jong-il, dictator of North Korea, who also happens to be the country's film dictator. Did I say dictator? I meant Happy Fun Time Coordinator. Not only does he love crappy movies more than I do, he's willing to go to incredible lengths to make them, including kidnapping a director and his wife to make a Godzilla ripoff.
Like me, you’ll be wondering how much LSD was dropped during the writing of this cheap, crazy post apocalyptic production which transports H. Ryder Haggard’s mythical character ‘She’ (Aisha) into the 23rd century after the ‘Cancellation’.
Sandahl Bergman (Conan The Barbarian -82) is the very sassy, limber, future-god who controls a vast army of loyal savage sisters that help her rule the barren, tribal wasteland where everybody dresses up in a mix of clothing stolen from hookers, pimps, housewives, baseball players, medieval knights, camp priests, mimes and especially American footballers!
A post-apocalyptic tale of Christian steam-punk space knights gallivanting around with bayonet laserguns and bagpipes, battling puppets and papier-mâché demons. The whole thing is awash with gore, aliens, cleavage, and perversion. And then Satan shows up.
It's sort of like the Dark Crystal meets Robot Bastard! and the Spanish Inquisition in hell, but with really crappy special effects.
Some descriptions practically beg a person who likes bad movies to watch the movie involved. Such is the case with Taarzan the Wonder Car, a film about a car designer who is murdered and comes back as a vengeful car.
Taarzan is like a psychotic Herbie the Love Bug gone completely off his medications. But don't let the movie fool you into thinking it's a bizarre automotive remake of Death Wish. In between car-delivered-justice sequences, large sections of the movie are devoted to light-hearted romantic comedy.
The Seventh Curse is a prime example of Hong Kong film-making at its craziest and most over the top. It's goofy, violent, and fun. Filled with kung fu, evil sorcerers, the undead, gunfights, crazy alien baby monsters, gore, human sacrifice, ass-kicking monks, and Chow Yun Fat. If you haven't seen it, you should.
What do you get when you throw Apocalypse Now and The Wizard of Oz in a blender? Something like Apocalypse Oz.
Dorothy Willard, delinquent Amerasian offspring of the Vietnam War, lives with her horrible aunt and uncle. Desperate to get the hell out of Kansas, she accepts a mission to go deep into the desert to hunt down an insane, renegade US Army colonel codenamed 'The Wizard' and terminate him with extreme prejudice.
For Your Height Only is one of my favorite bad movies. It would be easy to call it exploitative trash, but the movie is so much more than that. Chronicling the exploits of Weng Weng as Agent 00—a diminuitive Filipino knock-off of James Bond—For Your Height Only is pure crazy fun.
